Raising Boys- funny!

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas..."Things I've learned from my Boys"
----A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
----If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
----A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
----If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.
----You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
----The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
----When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
----Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
----A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
----Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
----Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
----Super glue is forever.
----No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
----VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
----Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
----Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
----You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
----Always look in the oven before you turn it on;plastic toys do not like ovens.
----The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
----The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
It will, however, make cats dizzy.
----Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
----80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.